representing different times and moods

Friday, March 21, 2014

wild woman of the east.

I went on a walk when the sun had disappeared beneath the horizon, painting the distant sky the colour of a blood orange.the stars were twinkling and there was the smell of those curious pink,yellow and white firangipani wafting in the air, it is quite pleasant. as I walk up the road from my street, I see the dazzling display of the hills,looking quite like a new Indian bride, decked out in all her golden finery, or like a city of fire flies, for the lights are absolutely inspiring, it moved one to poetry (or pros).
On the 2nd of March, I woke up early to conduct the meditation classes (yeah, I have hidden depths), helped Neil who had been groaning about his cold with his laundry and by the time I was finished with my own laundry and Ironing,and later lunch and dishes, I was pretty much ready for a nap, (I still haven't really started my homework) but then I went for grocery shopping as I was getting to go in  the car with Neil, and when we came back, I was again, rather eager for that siesta.  I went to sleep around 4 ,meaning to wake up in half an hour,but I found my eyes opening at 6.30 pm. I was groggy and displeased, as such long naps are bound to make you in summers, I went to the front garden and set watching the clouds. then, out of no where, that feeling that takes hold of your insides happened, when you see all around you the beauty of nature and you remember that the last time you experience it like this, meaning, after a long afternoon sleep with the same feelings budding inside you, you weren't so lonely. last time I was at home, looking out of my window towards my tall beautiful trees and listening to the whistle of the pressure cooker dimmed in to the background by insistent chirping of the squirrels and the evening birds. I wasn't alone, then, but now I was.
such a plain hard fact.
this proves that there are many ways of perceiving things, and you see and experience things again and again, in different physical and mental frames.
this is so true. I want to be Home,But I want to explore.I am happy on my own but I am unhappy without them.oh!

I shed a few tears and then took photos of those rolling clouds.

well, anyhow, the next morning, today, is the day of the Oscars.  I didn't set the alarm as  I was sure I will wake up within good time to watch it by intuition, and I did. I let the cat out, and went out to feed the chicken and the fishes, and what do I see? the back garden was strewn with twigs and big branches off the Eucalyptus trees three blocks away! How could I have slept through that? it seems it has rained a little bit too,and now it is pleasant under a cool blue sky with white rolling clouds. the sun peeks out once in a while. I like today.

I dreamt of a visit of a friend this morning, no matter how unlikely it sounds, I was here,and so was my brother, well I am assuming he had been here a while before my friend arrived because I didn't go running to my brother as he opened the door and told me "I have a surprise for you ,come out have a look" and there was my friend! I went running straight in to waiting arms! how long have I waited to meet that person,I thought. though now that I think about it, my friend did look a bit too dressed up, probably because it is Oscar night and dressing codes require following hollywood standards, but it looked ridiculously funny ! :D

8th of March 2014

went for a walk after doing some sketching for the start of studio design (complex buildings). I understand why writers love to walk, and talk ,and walk. actually, they walk and they strike a rapport with nature, their eyes noting all the minute details and their brains floating on the air, or wavy, hazy ,foggy landscapes lighted by a bright tower of light in the middle  , it is a drugged state of when you next see a floaty looking individual with a dreamy smile plastered on their faces, staring at all things apart from the obvious - know they are writing in their minds, poetry and pros are sprouting out of their brains like lava and it can be seen on their faces.

I mean, there is poetry in the way a cloth covering a car floats in high wind, it is almost,but not quite, as beautiful as the skirts of a woman. there is rapture in the clouds scalded with colour of the setting sun, and ah! the unusual leaves and flowers of Australia keep me in a state of wonderment indeed. pity there is no one to show these new found (to me) treasures to, there are so many different types!

I see how walking would make you more creative. I see how countryside is the best place to reside if you are thus inclined.
the monotonous drone of someone's voice is driving me to distraction, someone who shall remain unnamed has been sitting outside my room for the past hour, talking constantly on the phone to his beloved- and while I can not (and indeed do not want to) hear what he says but oh I always hate these drunken spurs of talking. he talks in a constant uninspired level, never rising or falling,no impassionate pitches in his voice, giving no apparent indication of either intelligence or feeling (I am being harsh here- obviously it isn't entirely true)- PLEASE GO AWAY and talk, I shall soon resort to pulling out my hair , my ears are physically protesting. how can spoken language be made so uninteresting?
each time I pass beneath a lighted window, I picture a wooden desk, a wooden chair, and sheets of parchment on the desk, with a young adult pouring over them with a quill, or reading a book. that is the only picture that my mind conjures up each time I pass a lighted rectangle of yellow light.
 I am a silhouette, a silhouette of a lady. now, I walk on eternally on the face of this earth while the lady might change. I shall always be the straight backed,straight shouldered, long skirted image that will accompany. head held high, feet that click crisply on the curb. skirts that twitch and will charm.
it is baffling, the timelessness of art.

 on a site visit I and a classmate were sitting on a bench in the city, in front of the building under construction , getting out hard hats and sketch books ready, talking and awaiting the others of our class, while everyone else slowly trickled down the street,he had been the first one to arrive and had been stopped by the fund raisers,so when I passed him on the street, I said "Hey,what are you doing, come along,we are late",and thus saved him (he was telling the woman he was an impoverished student/ the common state of any architecture student).

a rather rough but colourful guy came ambling along, with a dolphin blow-up toy in his hand, and when he spotted us, walked purposefully towards us. we again feared for those few coins in our pockets, but this one was new.
he stuck the dolphin in front of my classmate's face and said, "hey,would you like to give Suzie a kiss?"
imagine us passing looks of incredulity and horror.(wasn't a particularly clean toy)
",I'll pass if you don't mind"
"come on man, (pointing to me) make her jealous, now doing you a service here. you know you want to."

so in the end, he had to, twice. when the wanderer departed he started furiously scrubbing his face.
I bundled up laughing. the people you meet.

Saturday the 15th. 
I shot a wedding at Joondlup resort , and it was absolutely beautiful in every way indeed, I worked with two old gentleman for the first time. they were doing videography and I was taking the stills. they were brothers, so ofcourse they kept on arguing the whole day.I like the older one though.he is more gentlemanly. (a good thing my professional things have no connection with this place)

there is only a single remark during the whole day that I wish to write about, when we were trying to find the bride's room,I said "follow the laughter, there are so many ladies in that room" and Peter said, "let us hope they are ladies."

there was a time, not long ago, when I was absolutely flustered and furiously blushing when I saw a couple stealing a kiss by blundering up on them in a hidden corner of a public I shoot people kissing on their wedding days, while I still get a slight blush ,what with the zoom lens and all, but this country has quite succeeded in jolting me partially out of my 19th century phase, though not entirely , no one can. even after I've had my first kiss, I will still remain in the regency and that is that. it kind of shows in my art sometimes.
need I say I approve of the colour! :D

it is a tempest out there! the night of the 20th, the wind is the true wind of the sea, making the tops of the Pine and Eucalyptus bend double,plastering my cloths to my body and kicking up a wild storm inside me as well. it was full moon two-three nights back,and the moon is still rather big, I love such nights. So wild, so charged, so free. anything might happen on such nights,I have always felt, and when the moon is big, there is magic more tangible, I can almost feel it on the tip of my tongue..

every detail stands out in sharp relief in that magical white silver light, I see the fallen leaves on the shingles of the roof,I can see the outline of those huge leafs on some weird Australian tree, the water of the fish pond sparkles with hidden secrets, there tinkles a bell under the undergrowth of weed lilies and when I say, "come" a dark fur ball comes running out and rubs it's body against my legs, this is Bella, the beauty. the moon is again as beautiful as it always is, perfect, with those blemishes and swirling blotches of grey over the shinning surface of pure white. I do believe it would be as alluring without those blotches, they are her character.character is what makes anyone beautiful.

on these nights, I miss my brother the most, the person I could hold hands with and tell all my fantastic fancies, excited by the beauty of long has it been since I last put my head on his chest while he was asleep,so that I may hear the reassuring beat of his heart,so that my heart may yet again adjust it's pace. that dear little soul who is most precious to me in this world.who can infuriate,annoy and anger me the best,as well as understand me ,calm me and handle me the best.  

Mars is out in it's rust coloured beauty tonight, such a true hero. looking rather noble and constant ,tonight - the only anchoring point in the wide sky swept by the windy gale, for even the moon floats.
my lady Venus , always the brightest and shiniest sets early these nights. winter is coming.
yesterday (19th) I was going somewhere in the bus, a red light, and I look up, another bus going in the opposite direction had stopped alongside us, and what do I see through the two glass windows? no one but my Irish co worker / friend, she used to work with me a at the photography place.we both recognise each other and wave , the light goes green, thankful for mobiles! :D

I also met someone new, a werewolf , a new friend? someone interesting, someone I can talk to, eyes that I may trust.

the thing here is this, everyone is a stranger, thus everyone is a potential friend as well. now, as per my discussion with my aunt, the actual percentage of "interesting,sensible and silly oddballs" is a universal constant- so.. you are lucky if you actually find someone with the same stardust on the same side of the globe, though that shouldn't deter you, of-course.
 love walking and then breaking in to runs,
love trampolines.

both in a long skirt are much more enjoyable.

so after I returned with laughter in every pore of my being Neil ruffled my hair, "you haven't been happy since the past few weeks little one, try and be happy" he said.he sounds so fatherly at times I love it. (for those of you who have forgotten, that is my landlord) true, and no matter how much I complain about his lack of tone in his voice (you got it) he does see it when I am not entirely,fully rejoicing. not that it is very hard to detect if you know me, but then I am never entirely wretched either. I don't think it is physically possible to be bubbling over all the time, it is possible only 90% of the times. :)

at most when you are trying to balance over stiles or playing with dogs who show the slightest inclination towards liking you.

This morning I awoke to a beautiful surprise gift my dear M has sent me "The Curious Incident of the Dog" for my kindle- it is such a curious title , it makes my hypothetical tail wag.he knows exactly what I should love.though your missing aurora Borealis isn't exactly something I am going to let you forget soon for that is very painful.


I am a chronicler of life, my life, lives of those who matter to me, lives that weave through mine,and those which barely touch mine from time to time. there are so many stories around us, and when I think of this, I realise how many stories are left untold, they are pushed in to the dark past, from where they will be picked at random by time,to be replayed again when the moment has arrived again in the great play of the universe.

some interesting things that I love.

I walked through Myer, the great big department store of Australia which always reminds me of the BBC mini series "The Paradise". I was looking for an exit, and tried to ask a staff member, I said,"hello?" and she replied, "I don't like you, I am not going to reply, sorry". so, naturally, I felt my eyes and my mouth go wide simultaneously.
 gee woman- I thought, you sure got out of the bed on the wrong side today for sure.

I didn't go and complain though , to the consternation of many of my well wishing friends. they were right in their assertion that it would serve her right if I had. I didn't because I know first hand that working in marketing or sales can be soul destroying, if you let it -  how many times have I simply wanted to sit down where I was, or stomp my feet and just howl with pent up frustration and misery!

so I forgave her. it smarted for a little while,and they I started feeling good about it.
 (see how everything goes good)
 soo, my boss called to let me know that I am their best employee in the whole of Australia.I have made the maximum admissions (and received something that I shall promptly have to spend on the new construction safety gear for architectural site visits) who knew I would be that good at sales and Marketing?

yea, that's the word that came to my head when he told me.

I had this dream last night. I was back in the tundra, high up in the mighty Himalayas. we were actually on top of a pass looking out at the valley and mountain summits below, it was snowing, my mom was in the tent and brother and I were sitting outside(dad couldn't come as he was busy), looking at the weather turn, in the unexpected way that it always does there. this trip was special for we wanted the snow leopards to happen upon us(when do I not?), it was a special photography trip.we came to the conclusion that we had better moved out,there was too much snow on both the summits on the sides, while we might not be swept away, the villages down below will need a warning ,if they already didn't have one.

well, it was in such crystal clear detail, as we walked down, I could see the moist freezing snow clinging to our boots, the specks of soil and bits of grass as we got lower. then we happened up on another group of mountaineers who had been out to climb a summit, unlike our more humble intentions and decided to walk together, I remember all the climbing down details too, how we discussed the grips, knots and the actual crossing of a river. mommy, I am proud of you

ohh.. I do miss them, those peaks.

15th February
so.... I was sitting in the main city square after work, watching the children play in the fountains, and watching things happen in general.

so.. then, a girl around 21-22 came and sat down near my feet on the grass and leaned towards me with a smile, well, female conspiratorial - never shocks me, and I smiled and leaned down, (I was sitting on a low wall) and she extended her hand and took mine,and said, " you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen in this world, and I just wanted to say that if you married me I will be very happy. will you?"

I can not say that I hesitated,maybe for a split second I did, for my mind worked furiously fast and no, I didn't blurt out anything inappropriate, with all the replies fleeting through my head, I put a dramatic hand on my chest and said," no sorry, but I am much flattered." (hail classics, for this just came naturally :P)

so she proceeded to sit down again, and when I asked her if it was a bet or a dare , proceeded to vehemently deny it.(I summarily departed after a polite chat) errmm... I am not quite sure, as ,when in a dare, you can't really tell the person who you are accosting about it.
I am just happy it was a girl, jeez.

the first light shower of summer,a thin grey day, a day when magic is about. must I be made to work today? must I do laser cutting and presentations and such when my heart longs to go away in long skirts and talk with birds and bees all day?

- I was walking home after a day spent at work, in an Air conditioned space (disgusted shivers) and the sun was setting.
there came a breeze, warm, having ridden over the sun, and it smelled of home, a slight tinge of backed wheat and wet leaves, I do not know whence it came, but it must have belonged to India.

 The delight I experience when my mom opens the letter I sent them from here in front of me in Skype.the thing went all the way
 excerpt from my tiny green diary in my purse for today.
"Children always return my real smiles, the smaller they be, the wider the smiles!"

"push up bras are like an epidemic here! what happened to equality and feminism,terms that this culture likes to throw about at random? where is the grace and where is the comfort in towering heels and unbreathable foundation layers just so that you "confirm" to the expectations of the society?" you are all free women for everything that's sane!

"you just sit there, looking at people and assessing their personalities,the ratios are the same in all the countries, there is rarely anything that catches your attention and then once in a long while, there comes a single specimen of such perfection that it make you go weak in the knees, literally."

 today in the bus, there set an old lady facing a UWA first year student, he looked fresh out of high school, and before she got down she asked him, "do you study at UWA?" (it was the bus to university) "do you like your studies?" he said "no,not really" then she smiled and said, "you know,study well, because you are a very handsome fellow, and you can make something of yourself". he he It was such a delight watching the boy smile shyly and blush, the tips of his ears went red and he touched his hair, and word that dreamy half smile until we got off.

it is nice.

I got a big kit kat today from my professor, I was one of the 3 top students in a test :D yey ! :D so she threw them at us three in the lecture theatre lol
so very absolutely beautiful

V day saw me delighted in every way, I do love festivals of each and every kind. there is a necessity in me to rejoice in them, just as much as I delight in the everyday-ness of everyday.

Neil gave me a single rose, and I got a flamingo plant from Mr stardust, for he reasoned the plant will live way way longer than just flowers. with my girlfriends knitting me gilded golden lions and dolphins and all the "move over to the place where you need us in your room" gifts, my room is QUITE elaborately decked out now. I do love you guys so.