representing different times and moods

Sunday, August 21, 2011

a silver line of hope

Darling Angel!- yes you,the one who's reading this.  
hello & welcome,thank you for visiting my blog, a journal that I, pretty Infrequently write.

I have been suffering from the lack of inspiration,inclination and most of all-time. sometimes I wonder - how could I allow life to become so common-paced ?it is not that it shouldn't be though,but it should also be something different,something awe-inspiring and magical,ethereal and enchanting enough to take my breath away every moment.

though, if I am fully honest- it is ,take for an example,the rain, it has been coming down here quite frequently,making the trees go all dark barked,the leaves dark green with pale undersides & making the general appearance of our local countryside resemble the English one:) when i look out of the window in front,I expect the trees to start swaying,the thunder to sing and that dance would be something amazing,I do not know why,but I love the clap of thunder,I also expect something amazing to poke it's head out of the mist shrouded scene, of tall towering trees,pale and whispering, I sometimes catch my breath,just imagining the kind of creatures that might dwell there,if given half a chance,of witches on broomsticks and dragons with fiery breath.I admit, i dream of stumbling through dark enchanted forests wearing a long white dress or red or something cream,shimmering like moonlight,while the practical mind does step in a bit and suggests that - finding exotic creatures in the depths of a forest might require wearing something more sensible,but who wants to be sensible,nothing compares to the swirl of silk around the base of a tree,a sparkle of a jewel here and there,dark eyes drinking in the beauty of nature,and wind playing  in long hair,marvelling,wondering,travelling, running and stumbling-laughing and staggering just for the fun of it.nothing compares,believe me.though I am yet to try. I only need a mossy forest,a dark or semi dark hour and a beautiful dress.though  a camera sounds amazingly tempting for interesting results.
this doesn't even come close to what I mean.


oh, I mustn't go on & on about my dream of a forest,& believe me I have many, I meant to tell you also about my birthday,the wonderful day on which I became 22.

the day overflowed with books,literally, & also with some fine things,& flowers! how can I forget flowers,I had been wishing for flowers -that's what I got.
 I will have to start - the list is not in any "liking" order.
a slam book,a bracelet & beautiful flowers.

a silk purse, a lovely bracelet,& a tiger brooch,my aunt.lots of flowers & blessings as well as monetary wealth,grand mom.

two lovely dresses,white and royal blue,bought at the last possible minute-because my original "new birthday dress" was utterly ruined,my mom is very generous.

a bronze & mother of pearl apple,openable,my brother,the lovable.

the Queen of England Vol.1 a first Addition of 1843 with golden letters,bearing a sentence "to a once & future queen" ( if you are in any doubt- I AM boasting- I simply can not help it)

a wonderful Kangaroo skin hand crafted book mark,and a painting of the Australian coast-fridge magnet-which always draws my eyes when ever i pass it,making me wonder at the beauty.

a terribly wonderful book,called "my family and other animals" utterly charming and Delightful,like me, as per the book's opinion."the remains of the day"-the delights of it are yet to be sampled by me,chosen carefully for me because it was published in the year i was born,1989. isn't that lovable?

my annual shopping of shoes,just before my birthday, of course! 

& the big stock of books bought for me from mom and dad,second hand but that is what makes them more valuable.

Imperial Blandings.
Doctor Sally.(r)
The Subtle Knife.(r)
All Roads Lead to Ganga.
Landour Days.
I seem to be well stocked for the time.
some really lovely cards,hand made and other wise.I treasure those.
I know , I know, it must seem quite shallow to be listing the gifts I received.well,I am only counting my blessings,while I still hear the far cry,of the wishes still stuck on the way, I know,& I thank you for those:) while the post has been a source of anxiety for me from a while, things that I sent out haven't reached,and i HATE that.

I haven't posted photos of each thing separately this time, it seemed like taking "talking about gifts" too far.

And as for what I actually did that day,wore new cloths after the chores, went to the music class,gave some unknown kids chocolates,planted seeds,met my school time friend,just stayed with loved ones in general, and at night, we went out for dinner,where,amazingly, live music was going on, and to top it all, they played summer of 69!! I was SO thrilled(made my blood run fast, i was remind of the BA Concert in Bombay , I love the energy of it-and getting to sing it along in real was again a treat), it was indeed the best thing to have happened, i was so happy, that at the end of the song, I went and gave the group leader a firangi pani flower off the tree that grew there, thanking him for the wonderful music.there couldn't have been anything better to wrap up my birthday, though we did have the most wonderful Italian dinner with great conversation. I am very thankful to every one for making that day  special for me.

I have a new interest,reusing transparent plastic bags by making them the covers for paperback books. 

my heart was crying out when out trip to the Himalayas had been cancelled, this August.well it still is, but now it does seem to have a more sensible cause than just an important meeting in office that father must attend(!) (read sarcasm) - the roads are all blocked up because of heave landslides on the route that we would have taken,from the last few days and still are, that would have made returning on time impossible and returning safely questionable.I had been telling my self at the start that there must be a reason,beyond my understanding at the time,for the cancellation, and so there is. 

that doesn't stop my heart to want to be there. The Himalayas, the Enchanting land, land of Gods and fairies, if you are once infected, there is no curing you,no medicine in the world would give you your heart back,which obviously is dangling on one of those snowy peaks. the land of inspiration, fruitful earth, in with everything blossoms to it's full beauty,even humans. the land of old legends and real mystical powers, where- undoubtedly, creatures which seem only mythological dwell. oh how I long to Embrace you. to drink your nectar through the crisp, freezing air,so that when I am back on these great planes ,  I can still feel the essence of you in my body.the empowering kind.

I love our great grass planes enough!!!! never think that I don't. there is nothing like them really, not even the mountains,those two are two different entities with serious importance attached to them.I think I would feel pretty frustrated if I were not have the blazing sun over me.the golden , shimmering,fragrant land- with hot sun and shades of fire.

isn't nature wonderful?

and thus, there is still hope for me, my mortal mind, this life that I am leading, there is still hope, there is a silver lining.
p.s. I believe I will be adding later on on the gift list. if the post people are not too annoyed with me.

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