representing different times and moods

Friday, February 11, 2011

oh can't be bothered.

hello to every one who know what i am doing and also to those who have no clue, because, today, i am writing for my self, rather than writing for the sole benefit of my friends who i always dare hope wish to read this blog.

i am leaving for Mumbai to attend Bryan's concert in about 2 hours and 15 minutes, i.e- not much time left to write in. where is the excitement? i am trying to ferret it out from any part of my being, but i am finding only weariness. but i am sure i will be all gaga about it the moment i step in to the bus which will take me to the big,scary,crowded city which i usually abhor. i can feel it in my bones, almost ready to jump out, but not yet, just not yet still.
it has been a dream of mine, indeed, i have been dreaming of attending his concert, seeing him in real since i was 12 or 13. right now, gazing in to the green sparkling depths of those big glass beads in front of me, i am remembering that girl, how really excited SHE would have been at even the prospect of it. let us wonder and see, if that girl is still alive in me. 21 is a conflicting age, really. the age when the real struggles of life take shape. some days i was so tired when came back home, i though, what is the point in going all the way to Mumbai to see something that i could very well see on TV. but, if i bowed out of my first opportunity of a dream coming true, what hope would be there for my longer time and unexplainable important dreams? and , truly, i am glad, GLAD that i am going.

commuting every day in India, when you are a lady, is not easy. not to mention those stares and those insulting gestures that everyone gets their fair share of every day, and the small accidents here and there rewarding you one new injury every wake up, clean the house, help with cooking , get ready and run to the bus stop, await the transport, and there are simply TOO MANY people here, one either has to be squeezed in a seat for 3 with 5 people, or go in the bus standing, while waiting for the bus does mean that you will be late for work. the BRTS city buses in Ahmedabad are heavenly comparatively (i got in to an air conditioned one today , wonder of wonders) which i take after i get down from the transport from Gandhinagar to Ahmedabad , then i walk almost 2 killometers and work crazily the whole day, get another , to be squeezed in Rickshaw, and then await either the bus or another squeezer. than walk home from the bus stand ,another 2 km, then cook again- i am already ready for bed. i am so thankful that mom is always there to take over when i fall, don't know what i would do without her.

the bus i missed today by seconds had a terrible accident on the way with a truck, killing several people. i am sorry for them. i am also feeling a bit down,which is quite explainable. now i shall be attaching some passages that i have managed to write either in office, or some time at home, they are not systematically connected , but still, if you know what i have been about these past few days,  you can relate to them.
I started my office training this month with a little apprehension in my heart, the first day was comparatively a success and it was all easy flow till today. On my second day I found out a pleasant small road – shielded from the main road by beautiful residential buildings and bungalows, which , incidentally are very prettily designed too. The walk is about of 2 km but it does my heart good to have such a beautiful road to walk on every morning, that is the main survival factor for me in this big city. There are many semi stray dogs there, half adopted by the residents of that area, they are fed regularly but not really allowed in the house. And what’s the bigger attraction, the puppies, they are in abundance there. Those cute little fur balls tote behind my feet as I play along with them while walking.
All the houses have peripheral gardens ,trees from there overhand most part of the road , and when one walks underneath them , the squirrels put up a chorus of chirping, some protesting , some curios and, it is to be hoped – some welcoming. There is this one particular house, it is indeed very lavish- there are at least 3 imported, high priced cars parked always inside there, while, because of my lack of an extended knowledge about cars, I can not identify them without reading their names on the back. But there is an old , green and Gray ,Chevrolet  model which is put out side the compound wall – it’s all rusted and a few glasses are broken, while I am sure it must have been a handsome and sleek thing when it was not thus neglected, it is still beautiful in it’s rusted up glory, more so because a graceful , white, cream and yellow cat lives in it. She sometimes sits on the back bonnet and licks herself. It’s a very lovely picture in the fresh light of the morning , That when ever I encounter her, I regret that I can not take the camera with me. ( well who knows , I just might keep a camera with me always when I do get one of my own because life has a lot to offer)

My new year, so far, has been filled with new experiences, tomorrow Is Uttarayan and my uncle and his family are coming over, it’s bound to be fun.
The international summit is going on in Gandhinagar , and because of that, all the public transport was not working on the 12th. So I had to take a day off.
 26th January 2011
the prices of Onions and Vegetables have come down~ YEY. am not happy about that. at last, for a while it had seemed as if the price dragon will swallow the food from the poorer population's plater and things would get really dire. so, i am all hopeful for the local prices to come down from 50 per Kg to 5 soon.

on the other note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY dear father. so... what happened? mom gave him a beautiful Sendal perfume, which we bought from the Gandhi Smriti store a while back, (made the Indian way, the perfume lasts EVER so long, and you only have to put one drop - if you spray it, it will drive you nuts and last for weeks- that's how Indian perfumes work - i am determined to go back to the local ones, made in the old traditional way- more so because they come in such delightful fragrances such as-the smell of soil after the first rain- for instance. as well as all the other scent imaginable )

sooo... about my recent trip to Jodhpur , it was an unplanned event, not an unusual occurrence where my family is concerned. my brother was all ready for school, in his uniform, we all decided to go together to leave him there, mid way to school, in the car, i pipe in "now, isn't this good, aren't we all together on a trip" - my mental condition at the time being of rather deep sense of sorrow because i thought we weren't going any where in the 3 day weekend.and suddenly father said - do you really wish to ? rekindling hope in my breast - i went for it and there- it landed us in the amazing blue city. now i have been to all the coloured cities in Rajasthan- Jodhpur- the blue one, Jaisalmair - the golden city(the BEST ) and Jaipur - the pink city (i was too small then, i don't remember much)

the fort of Maherangardh -in Jodhpur is the best preserved and the most beautiful fort in Rajasthan . the glass rooms do actually explain why...indeed, i had the best time there.

i had to stop from here
I have decided to write , as well as work In the office. Or I can not survive these 4 months. I really do not know how successful this attempt might be, but I really do want to try. I can at least keep up with my correspondence/ blog. While creative writing, in it’s purest creating form is not possible here.
So what has been happening?
Uttarayan,a lot of fun and cousins coming over, that’s what. 

some observations in the work place and my suggestions , give in the privacy of my mind
Don’t be window shy, = give LOTS of windows, particularly in our climate, a house NEEDS a plinth, it can not start just like that. It was our first lesson in our building design class on our first day of college, one CAN NOT give a lift without a lift well, there should be walls surrounding it on three sides, and if there is a toiled besides your lift, you HAVE to put a wall between the steel of your lift, and the toilet, it so can not end in the lift. Rendering is not as important as the basic design, if I showed the glass a darker shade of blue instead of aquamarine , it is not SOMETHING so great as the attract attention. While forgetting the partition wall is. If I am designing for someone who would probably be building his house only ones in his life, I would do it nicely, putting comfort first and appearance second.  And I would make the stairs LAVISH. Because that’s place where most of the household accidents happen, and I would rather not have that. I would not increase the height of the riser, and decrease the width of the tread just because I want my stairs to be compact, and a certain shape only, no one would mind it very much if they become a bit uncomfortable, :P :P  and toilets , ah, the heaven sent little cubicle which we could reduce at whim, it can be tucked away at the most unwanted corner and I really wouldn’t wish to imagine how a person is to use it if it’s so bloody uncomfortable.

 i am reading a book called father Brown, it is coming along slowly, i wish to add a last thank you note to all those people that do endure me, and my tantrums and my anger, for i am sometimes. people that are kind to me when i need them to be kind and not angry in return, thank you to my little brother, who is sometimes amazingly mature, to my mother, for being her - always helping, for my father, for letting me do as i wish most of the times. and for my friends, the few that i have, for always being a great support ,even unknowingly.

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