representing different times and moods

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

I,Me and Mine.

blogging is all about being self centred, people like me who took on writing online after starting out on personal diaries must feel that they are so very "full of them selves" but i guess, that's what it is for, to make your friends read about you whether that wish it or not :P he he

well jokes aside, i have been at the hight of things lately, more to the point,stubborn and disciplined in a way.been giving every one a piece of my mind,so to speak. people around me usually say that i am sweet (i am talking about real people around me, friends) but they also know that i have a foul temper when provoked.i can't be silenced if i think that the other person is making an ass of himself, or being a hypocrite. i hate those.sometimes i think overly sentimental stuff foolish and i have no love of soft mushy stuff. though my parents always say i am so over the top romantic,so that i am not sure what side of me you might encounter when ever you happen to do so, depends very much on the circumstances. the only word that i am sure about being "me" is being very much opinionated.

had an almost volatile argument with the priest this morning. we usually do not bother each other, i rarely ever visit the temple,i do not believe that God is confined to the temple. he/she/it is every where, in the grass blades, in the trees, in the wind that plays with my hair, in the sun ,moon and stars, inside me and you, and of course in a Temple :) so well, i don't see him often. i mean the portly old man with crooked brown/yellow teeth and a white beard who serves as the priest here.

an old gentleman has planted many native plans and trees in a rectangular patch of land, in front of the's been almost 3 years since he started working on it,and not a long time from the time when it was the emerald jewel of the temple grounds.thick foliage canopied over the smaller flowering plants and fruit trees.he had put two big bird baths there,a small shade made of logs firmly hammered in the earth and covered with leaves, for every one who wished to sit there in their spare time. as well as a packed earth sitting area. he is quite old more than 85 i am sure,he's been a good friend to me, gave me saplings and even fruits and flowers.while we funded his effort to put a protective boundary of thorn bushes and Henna plants around the plantation afterwards.he sometimes comes over on his bicycle for chats when he is feeling better (well he is old). it's been good,he'd go there every morning around 6 or even sometimes at 5 when the water pressure in the municipality line was low to water the plants.he does work a lot,it is a labour of love, he simply loves the plants, and at his age, it is really something. he has always told me that trees belong to every one,they give food,calm and shelter to every one,they are the true messengers of God.he firmly believe that it is more worth while to do gardening than to attend the temple pooja least he is giving something back to the community. And this,from a person who we call illiterate,in our modern terms,agreed that he doesn't know how to read or write,but he seems to have achieved the highest spiritual and philosophical degree. he knowns what life is really about. i like him all the better for that.

(i wish more old people were interested in doing something good rather than be absorbed in their own woes, all the time complaining to every one and God too i am sure, about how hard life has been to them,how the new generation shows no affection and how the world is doomed because their son/daughter in law forgot their birthday, like COME ON- they seem to have the advantage of lots of free time after they retire right, no job to keep them from doing what they always wished to do,well may be not bungee jumping,but like there are hundreds of more productive and creative pursuits-most elders around here seem to think that the burden of refining and progressing of the community depends only on the youth,like, come on, we have jobs,unsorted love lives,dreams and the wish to give something back to the world of course, to make each day full. so stop calling us lazy and bonkers. i am not saying that it is pardonable to slight the elderly though, they have a wealth of experiences and wisdom, i just wish that they used it them selves too.)

anyhow, the problem was the priest's jealousy of my old friend's popularity and flourishing garden. every one greeted him every morning and partook of the advantages of the trees.he hated how every one said he was doing great work,how beautiful the garden was.etc the priest planted two rows of decorative palms along the short path leading to the temple and cut and diverted the waterline from the old gentleman's patch of green.under the pretence of needing the water for the palms. i noticed the dry, dreary state of the smaller plants in the patch on my morning walk with mom, the bigger trees were fine but the herbs,flowering plants and shrubs were all yellowing under the strong summer first horrible thought was that my friend had passed away, i hadn't seen him in about 15 days because of my work routine.well, he is old, but may he live many more healthy years. he is fine, as i made a dash for it early this morning, but very much grieved to see his beloved plants dying slowly,the bird baths are empty and the soil very much dry. i and mom went to talk things over with the priest, and he started shouting like an oaf that he is,"who are you to come here telling me what to do", "you have no right to speak" , outrageous-  well you don't say those words in India, you just don't mess with the world's largest democracy. it is enough to make me go flying over the rage threshold. while the puny details of the heated exchange is not what should concern us, i must , for the sake of a belated laugh mention that i told him to not to shout on me,i was not his wife, i bloody well will speak as i lived in India and not Afghanistan and that he had no right to divert public water lines, and kill birds and plants too.  he should not think that, as we were women, we'll not take harsher actions than a simple request. that seemed to remind him that,after all, Indian Jurisdiction was not partial to male superiority and his supposed holy man status. (holy man my foot) he than went on to explain that we were very much mistaken,that the little scoundrel had a grudge on him since forever, the water was available when ever he wanted but he just didn't come when the water came in the morning. it was not his fault that the local society president had decided to put in palms and keep watering them,when i told him that the amount of water he was giving the palms will probably kill them in about a week. he went in to a fit of rage and  some pretty nasty curses came out of that foul mouth for that old gent,whilst my dramatically inclined mouth hung open for a few moments after hearing some words that I never tolerate being even whispered around me.what a nasty person, there he was,firing away, standing inside the temple, the holiest place as far as Hindus are concerned ,and he was a hindu last time i checked. (it is similar to a reverend bellowing curses on the pulpit really). ugghh... 

there is no use talking to a person without shame or manners, he deserved no reply other than the ultimatum that we were bringing the society committee president with us the next day.yes, so that's the course of action, we'll also be submitting a written note, rudeness has no place in a civil society. our little "talk" was witnessed by many and supported too. so water it WILL be for the plants. nothing less.

i hate people that stare, i do not mean the appreciative looks,cast at me at regular, respectful intervals when they think that i am not looking,i would look at a person if they looked good, i would look at a puppy if it looked good. that's not the point.the stares that i am referring to are the ones that make you feel naked,the eyes are obscene, they seem to devour you like hungry wolves ,and those are the stares that i am talking about. they do not seem to notice that you are a person,they see only a body, and those stares make me angry, incidentally, those stares  usually come from the most coward men. so,when you confront them asking what the hell is he looking at, they run away like little scared rabbits,only that they aren't cute. you do get the urge to go after and get your hands on them,you feel the stinging slap on your palm which you'd like to bestow, but most of the time, when my temper is in check and i am in a hurry to work or college, i  pretend not to notice or hear the things going on between the male onlookers. ladies, usually do not make a nuisance out of them selves for handsome men though. 

saw a video yesterday, 

 while i do not say that majority of men are not tolerably good. i commuted to work for 3 months and was asked twice for my phone number, the first incidence is well know, but the second one, on the last day of work, was more subtler and less outrageous. the ticket clerk at BRTS who gave me my bus ticket every morning , with a cheerful good morning, was dismayed when i told him it was the last day and i will not be coming afterwards. leaving the counter he walked to the bus with me, much to my unease, i had really thought that he was just being friendly when  i replied his greeting. i suppose there is not much spread of the concept of "friendship only" between a woman and a man. he asked if I'd come to see him, (of course,if something took me along the path of this bus service again) , and then he said there were some things that he must tell me, (oh no, not that now ) and asked for my number, while i saw no need to give him that. i wasn't interested, period. giving it would only raise his unfounded hopes. but his face, oh that saddened face stayed with me the whole day, i felt like a heartless wretch, and resolved to not bestow my smiles on any one from now on, being mistaken as a cold specimen is better than being taken as a wilful heart breaker. i derive no pleasure from the suffering of my fallow men, suffering of any kind, and abhor being made the cause of it. 

well, a chat with mom cheered me up, well, as a woman of the world, she knows more than i do. she was like "my dear girl, it is not your fault that they expect more from you than you are willing to give, it is theirs." and "appearing cold never harmed any one" so i am going to keep my nose in the air, unless they are being particularly charming, they won't be noticed. there :P i'll just become Mr Darcy, the female one.

summer is here, i've started putting out water and food for birds since February, just a friendly reminder. 

i am about to finish Ruskin Bond's "a face in the dark and other Hauntings" it is more absurdly pleasant than scary. watched "Julie and Julia" i liked it . my office is over, and i need to justify declining to work in the vacation when my nice boss asked me to stay on.working was an educational and amazing experience.  i mean to be working hard in the coming days. on creative things in general. wish me luck.

my brother's exams start this 7th, my dear little cousin is coming on a fleeting visit this evening and i am excited about that. i have to get the grains out to make flour , and i will probably be somewhere in the Himalayas next 15th.... and adventure camp and national tai kwon do championship - my brother's team, they are taking me with them :D and i get to take the camera with me too. (i flatly refuse going any where breathtaking without it, it would torture me to death,well not really) i hope i can do all the rock climbing and river crossing stuff as well as photography, i have no fears as far as tough hiking /climbing goes though. i just hope that my knee will be healed by then.  

spring here is perfectly delightful and lovely 

but with it comes the neem Juice , a glass every morning for 9 days. it is the most bitterest thing in the world, may be... but good for you. so i go for it . .. ughh
that's all folks, i would really love your feedback, either on here, or in privet, love hearing from you.

will talk again soon
lots of love

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