representing different times and moods

Sunday, April 10, 2011

random late night reveries

nothing definite,short stuff , simply going to be random.

- i have started to feel that facebook is a huge waste of time,but i feel pretty disappointed when there is nothing new on there from any of my friends. i usually try to stick to the number of 50 friends, any more than that, starts to make me uncomfortable, 50 is my safe zone, close family and friends, with a few others, and that's about all those i care to be connected to on every day bases, this being one reason for my being particularly flamboyant or silly/frivolous on there too. it's very personal, simply.

- i love shoes, more to the point, i love looking at shoes,  i like classy things, and even cloths are not so elegant as shoes, they first need a body to be in them really, shoes , are perfect. while i don't buy too many, and just broke 2 or my total 3 heels, still i am not sure i'll be buying many of those uncomfortable kind, they are just for those who don't need to walk.

- i love skirts, i barely have the figure for it.but i guess long ones that i prefer aren't all that bad on me.

- books make me go quite silly. i am sure i'd be uncontrollable more regarding books than shoes or cloths if i had all that money to spend.

- i love floral prints, i prefer dogs over cats as pets, and i don't prefer pink over favourite colour for lips and nails is blood red.

- i love white cloths with tiny pale flowers, i love everything about the "Jane Auten era"

- i like big jewellery, i love aquamarine and hues of the ocean. i love olive green, to melt in with the forest. i love my hunter shoes, they are so macho :P

- Italy , is my dream destination,so is Paris ,Kenya,London,Ladakh , the whole of Himalayas and Romantic Venice.

- Bombex Ceiba ,just happens to be my favourite tree, because of it's flowers and it's scales.

- i do silly talk to animals, not that they reply back,well not in words at least.but i won't be caught dead talking like that with any human whom i didn't know well.

- i have a tendency to be childish during half the conversation my loved ones would have with me during the day, i fancy i am still being my 6 year old self at those times.well, duh, they love it and so do i. i am also as stern and disciplining as an army office (my brother's words!)

- sometimes i indulge in dry humour during any commonplace conversation. new eh? the remark is sometimes so unexpected and sharp that it takes time for people to understand that they were to laugh.

- Karma,i think, is to scare your actions in to submission. i believe in doing good,, for the sake of doing good, and not for any selfish reason, like reserving a place in heaven for one's self after death. so don't argue with me with the aid of Karma, won't be getting you anywhere, i believe in doing something good,everyday, i love the feeling after having helped someone, or having made someone smile. not that it is not selfish pleasure.

- i hate hypocrites.

- i have more friends abroad than i have in India, not counting my cousins, they are family,and very close too. i hope to meet every one more than only ones in my life though. it would be such a great pity if i didn't , i love them all and they all are so great.

- i like my photos being taken, period!

- i sometimes wonder how people have the leisure to go in to soul wrenching depression, but as i've been in it ones, i suppose it's not all that hard either, i am a little hard hearted, even in that time i thought i'll manage till the earth doesn't stop revolving on it's axis. this is so NOT pointed at anyone. what more amazes me is how people can find the time and the patience to read all those "positive thinking" books, it's all repetitive junk and we should be able to motivate our selves.

- after having said the above like a little rainbow, i will contradict my self and say that at times, dying doesn't seem like a very bad idea at all.

- i don't seem to make men feel protective towards me, may be i am not that sort of a girl i suppose.while i do seem to attract a lot of debate and opinions.

- i forget my brilliant lines/songs/poems by the time i reach the pen and paper, as i usually get them while walking outside :P

- i seem to have a big writer's block.

- i am determined to be a writer.

- my idea of a perfectly romantic morning would be, under a huge tree, resting my head on someone's lap, reading my favourite book, and occasionally looking at the leaves rustling above, their thick foliage filtered through by the dazzling sun rays. all in the Austen costumes, you understand ;)

- i need a "new everything" for my birthday, i celebrate getting one year older, one year wiser,and having spent a year on this beautiful planet.

- the only person i really really resent is our chief minister. because he resents anything that doesn't give him money,trees,farm land,forests, the list goes on.

- this year's wish list for my birthday is not yet fully determined, but books are there, i don't have the last two parts of "His Dark Materials" so it can't go wrong.any fantasy book can't go wrong really. like the "Septimus Heap series". i like gifts that make sense, don't give me hearts that say mushy stuff,jewellery and cloths can always be used hough. and so can money.not chocolates, i don't eat those much. give me plants instead, i like them and they grow. don't buy cards for me, if you must give it, than make them or draw something. the card industry is a disaster. but some are really very pretty, and i collect them :P use your discretion , i seem to be totally gone case tonight.

- i can't help but love second hand books.

- i am in love with Sherlock Holmes, Vincent Van Gogh and the "shadow king" in the "city of the dreaming books". really. and of course Mr. Darcy.......for a look from those eyes.

-  i wanted to be an artist,a scientist, a researcher and adventurer, a historian, a singer, a spy, and a singer as a child. huh..i am studying architecture and music, i hope to travel, but i am not a spy. 

- i am conceited, but humble enough to know it. 

-  some may think that there is nothing that i resent in my life,nothing that hurts me every day,nothing that is more a physical pain, that i am a too self absorbed to be sad. i am just aware of the fact that, those little sorrows are a part of those things that make life worth living, i live with those. 

- if i ever wrote to you "love" as an end of email/note address, i totally mean it. i do not use that word lightly. it means that i trust you, respect you, and,despite all our deferences, consider you a very close friend, i can not give you anything more than that, because that is the strongest bond,the biggest gift.nothing else from me can surpass that.  

-Romantic love is,i don't know what it is. so won't be talking about it.

- i enjoy giving gifts,i choose/make each very carefully, may be those might not be what the other person would have liked sometimes.

- it takes a lot to sicken me, i rarely, if ever, have nervous break downs. if there are any, they'd be emotional rather than anything from the outside. i am good at the time of problems,i seem to adopt a philosophical attitude towards them. i don't scare easy, i fight for my loved ones, and no one bullies me :P

 - well the last is not true,some people bully me, but not appear to be bullying so i get bullied :P and i am scared of the dark sometimes.

- snakes scare me more than lions, but i have had to kill a snake, so.. not that i relish that thought. the poor dear thing.

- i procrastinate in writing.

- i love to cook/design cloths but not sew them my self/design good spaces.

- i love thread work on cloth, little beads work and i wish i had more time to make those.

-  i am running out of space to store the books.

- my knee is in pain, i know, wrong construction by the standards of English Language, who said i was talking in English language? i went for a long jogging run with my brother, very long , mind you, and that is something stupid to do with a hurt knee joint, that's all  my hidden "maleness" at work i suppose :P how silly. i am also excited about the next month himalayan trip, i want to be fit for is going to be pain walking from tomorrow, for a while. that is, if i do go anywhere tomorrow, ahhh....

- i am feeling rather lonely, and want to talk with some one, but chatting has always seemed rather a hollow form of communication to me.

- i have no aim, to write this blog entry, other than, i suppose, to sort out a few things in my head about my self.

- i do hope no one is offended by anything that i might have said on here. it is really all about me and not about anything else. 

- i am a study in contradictions, i know that. but still i'd like to talk of it with you, but in writing, always in writing, for , oh , it is so achingly romantic and real :)


  1. "i feel pretty disappointed when there is nothing new on there from any of my friends" I publish everyday a lot of petitions also from India :( Instead, about "Italy , is my dream destination" I would be extremely happy to met you in my Country but I advice you to not go it! There is the hell in this time. Italy is beautiful but its politics are sucks!

  2. I love being random :) Actually this post was very helpful in how to get to know you even better. I feel I learnt a few things about you. :)

    I also once had a desire to become a writer, but for me that was a dream which faded away. Writing is such a wonderful occupation. It's just you and your note-book. It's also very therapeutical I think, to write down your thoughts.

    When it comes to dying, I agree with you. Death doesn't have to be a bad thing. In one way it gives life more meaning. I mean, an eternal life, how fun or meaningful would that be? Then I think we would all be dilly-dallying all days long, because why would we do something which we could do some other time, if our time would last forever.

  3. Jenny! :) thanks for the visit. yes i think this was a rather personal entry, actually, reading your blog inspired me to write this,yes i believe that's it.
    yes it does my heart good to write, takes away all the pains and troubles. almost as good as sleeping without the regret of wasted time.

    i totally agree with you, living forever can be the most dread able thing too really, after all, you know how we need deadlines to get anything done nicely! :D ;)