the hungry blog

well,for the time being,Just today mind you,I honestly have no idea how a rainbow tastes like,I wonder- may be a little like currents?

so what is all this about?well,I asked my self, when the 74 year old person has been fasting for 6 days now, why not try and see how it feels for only 24 hours?Even in the memory of the grand experiments held by Gandhiji, why not! in addition, I can also show my love and respect for Krishna, the most Fun God, really. Today being his and my brother's birthday, as per our calender. why not pray and hope today, for a better world.why not show my support for a nation full of concerned people who still understand and value the doctrines of  peaceful protests-with zero incidence of violence in the long on going protests.the discipline makes me proud.

Not that I am doing something amazing, many people will be fasting today, the thing about the religious fasts that I do not like is the way they go about munching on delicacies made without the flour the whole day through.I mean , what's the point? those foods are mostly more fattening than the usual ones.anyhow not a morsel of food shall pass my lips, for today :D

I have gone without food,on many occasions, mostly when I am faced with a whole day climb/trek. you can't do it with a full stomach, but it is different, one is always guzzling down lemonade or chocolates. one is also doing something besides the usual. and one is definitely not cooking! while- today, I had to cook, of course, and that felt like torture at first , but that my senses stopped clamouring and I started feeling content by only filing my nostrils with the aromas,  which felt positively thick and divine.it was more felt at the start, Hunger, but now I am feeling perfectly well, I am not even hungry, unless I ask my self very seriously, the good thing that I observed is, rather than lulling you in to submission, the empty stomach just sharpens every sense, you are more attentive and concentrated, may be the hopes and prayers will be more coherent, May be those Hungry children in Africa will receive some help-in the mad scheme of the universe you can not know how things work.that said, I think I should finish the homework today too.

so here is a tiny blog with a tiny hope, of a better world and lots of love.
Amen.

one way-http://help-international.org/ 

p.s. I am sure I will ENJOY the first bite,something juicy and luscious !mmm...

a silver line of hope

Darling Angel!- yes you,the one who's reading this.  
hello & welcome,thank you for visiting my blog, a journal that I, pretty Infrequently write.

I have been suffering from the lack of inspiration,inclination and most of all-time. sometimes I wonder - how could I allow life to become so common-paced ?it is not that it shouldn't be though,but it should also be something different,something awe-inspiring and magical,ethereal and enchanting enough to take my breath away every moment.

though, if I am fully honest- it is ,take for an example,the rain, it has been coming down here quite frequently,making the trees go all dark barked,the leaves dark green with pale undersides & making the general appearance of our local countryside resemble the English one:) when i look out of the window in front,I expect the trees to start swaying,the thunder to sing and that dance would be something amazing,I do not know why,but I love the clap of thunder,I also expect something amazing to poke it's head out of the mist shrouded scene, of tall towering trees,pale and whispering, I sometimes catch my breath,just imagining the kind of creatures that might dwell there,if given half a chance,of witches on broomsticks and dragons with fiery breath.I admit, i dream of stumbling through dark enchanted forests wearing a long white dress or red or something cream,shimmering like moonlight,while the practical mind does step in a bit and suggests that - finding exotic creatures in the depths of a forest might require wearing something more sensible,but who wants to be sensible,nothing compares to the swirl of silk around the base of a tree,a sparkle of a jewel here and there,dark eyes drinking in the beauty of nature,and wind playing  in long hair,marvelling,wondering,travelling, running and stumbling-laughing and staggering just for the fun of it.nothing compares,believe me.though I am yet to try. I only need a mossy forest,a dark or semi dark hour and a beautiful dress.though  a camera sounds amazingly tempting for interesting results.

this doesn't even come close to what I mean.

 

oh, I mustn't go on & on about my dream of a forest,& believe me I have many, I meant to tell you also about my birthday,the wonderful day on which I became 22.

the day overflowed with books,literally, & also with some fine things,& flowers! how can I forget flowers,I had been wishing for flowers -that's what I got.

 I will have to start - the list is not in any "liking" order.
a slam book,a bracelet & beautiful flowers.

a silk purse, a lovely bracelet,& a tiger brooch,my aunt.lots of flowers & blessings as well as monetary wealth,grand mom.


two lovely dresses,white and royal blue,bought at the last possible minute-because my original "new birthday dress" was utterly ruined,my mom is very generous.


a bronze & mother of pearl apple,openable,my brother,the lovable.

the Queen of England Vol.1 a first Addition of 1843 with golden letters,bearing a sentence "to a once & future queen" ( if you are in any doubt- I AM boasting- I simply can not help it)

a wonderful Kangaroo skin hand crafted book mark,and a painting of the Australian coast-fridge magnet-which always draws my eyes when ever i pass it,making me wonder at the beauty.

a terribly wonderful book,called "my family and other animals" utterly charming and Delightful,like me, as per the book's opinion."the remains of the day"-the delights of it are yet to be sampled by me,chosen carefully for me because it was published in the year i was born,1989. isn't that lovable?

my annual shopping of shoes,just before my birthday, of course! 

& the big stock of books bought for me from mom and dad,second hand but that is what makes them more valuable.

Imperial Blandings.
Doctor Sally.(r)
The Subtle Knife.(r)
All Roads Lead to Ganga.
Landour Days.
I seem to be well stocked for the time.
some really lovely cards,hand made and other wise.I treasure those.
I know , I know, it must seem quite shallow to be listing the gifts I received.well,I am only counting my blessings,while I still hear the far cry,of the wishes still stuck on the way, I know,& I thank you for those:) while the post has been a source of anxiety for me from a while, things that I sent out haven't reached,and i HATE that.

I haven't posted photos of each thing separately this time, it seemed like taking "talking about gifts" too far.


And as for what I actually did that day,wore new cloths after the chores, went to the music class,gave some unknown kids chocolates,planted seeds,met my school time friend,just stayed with loved ones in general, and at night, we went out for dinner,where,amazingly, live music was going on, and to top it all, they played summer of 69!! I was SO thrilled(made my blood run fast, i was remind of the BA Concert in Bombay , I love the energy of it-and getting to sing it along in real was again a treat), it was indeed the best thing to have happened, i was so happy, that at the end of the song, I went and gave the group leader a firangi pani flower off the tree that grew there, thanking him for the wonderful music.there couldn't have been anything better to wrap up my birthday, though we did have the most wonderful Italian dinner with great conversation. I am very thankful to every one for making that day  special for me.




I have a new interest,reusing transparent plastic bags by making them the covers for paperback books. 


my heart was crying out when out trip to the Himalayas had been cancelled, this August.well it still is, but now it does seem to have a more sensible cause than just an important meeting in office that father must attend(!) (read sarcasm) - the roads are all blocked up because of heave landslides on the route that we would have taken,from the last few days and still are, that would have made returning on time impossible and returning safely questionable.I had been telling my self at the start that there must be a reason,beyond my understanding at the time,for the cancellation, and so there is. 


that doesn't stop my heart to want to be there. The Himalayas, the Enchanting land, land of Gods and fairies, if you are once infected, there is no curing you,no medicine in the world would give you your heart back,which obviously is dangling on one of those snowy peaks. the land of inspiration, fruitful earth, in with everything blossoms to it's full beauty,even humans. the land of old legends and real mystical powers, where- undoubtedly, creatures which seem only mythological dwell. oh how I long to Embrace you. to drink your nectar through the crisp, freezing air,so that when I am back on these great planes ,  I can still feel the essence of you in my body.the empowering kind.


I love our great grass planes enough!!!! never think that I don't. there is nothing like them really, not even the mountains,those two are two different entities with serious importance attached to them.I think I would feel pretty frustrated if I were not have the blazing sun over me.the golden , shimmering,fragrant land- with hot sun and shades of fire.


isn't nature wonderful?


and thus, there is still hope for me, my mortal mind, this life that I am leading, there is still hope, there is a silver lining.
p.s. I believe I will be adding later on on the gift list. if the post people are not too annoyed with me.

this vacation.travels,experiences, people and me.

so, I told myself, "are you ever going to write now or not?" , my  only excuse is that three trips and a vacations seem like an overwhelming subject to write off in one post. it is not as if  i have not been trying. (now 4)

here's one attempt-

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I am sitting besides my brother, holding a book and commenting how I cannot remember who Richard is, wondering aloud if he is the same character I think he is from P.S I love you.  While I did not expect my brother to know, who at that instant was engrossed in a computer game as it were, I do still talk about it to him. As he talks about his enemies and allies and guns in games with me, while I just glaze over , we love to talk.

My memory of the book is rather faded and I am going to have to go over- the cause- the trip. So many memories and  a whole regency romance book consumed in between. While urging my brother to again take up reading “the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” which he has been reading on and off from quite a while, I decided to write a bit.

There is still the small brown and white kitten out there somewhere in our garden. it’s been distracting me since morning. I could only manage a few shots in the early morning, after that it has successfully evaded the lens. While I do get quite near and all, but it just looks away when I get the camera out. I put out milk and it’s mother came and drank it, good that, for I was seriously considering having to take it in. well, it will be happier free, and I am not a cat person after all, no matter how cute they look.

I think it must have been an ostrich in its last life

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 updates on that pre life ostrich - i managed to capture it :) and not only one good shot either yuppiee.

see it? -

http://magicaldiva.deviantart.com/art/cute-cat-213675184

first trip – (warning- this is more like even notes)

Gandhinagar-Jammu- 1500 Km- two days one night in the train, boredom, games,stupidities, truth and dare and teasing,heat and discomfort, shortage of water,whistling idiots when you get down to get water,starers, talkers,lots of kids and card games,useless audio books as you can't hear a thing in that hub hub,strangers travelling with you who buy you salads which you are apprehensive to eat,silly boys who ask you to "please ask that girl's name in the next compartment" while they are under the impression that you are 15 or 16,so a friend, you disillusion them but still go and get an introduction, that particular girl in the next compartment calls you over for an extensive chat as she is bored witless too,talks of some intelligence with their trainer,but with none other, a brother who sleeps a lot, all in all, fun.

Jammu- stepping off the train at a small station, declaring to the world that it was your first step in that state,glimpses of the far away snowy peaks,the usual big station confusion, the realization of being somewhere with a lot of security and guns,first bomb shell- pre paid mobiles don't work for security reasons, (lending a blissful serenity as far as mobile calls are concerned, no one can reach you), frenetic search for a phone booth,than having one just beneath your hotel room owned by a pleasant old gent, a bath that felt amazing after such a long time :P,bad food,good company.

Jammu day 1- confusion and more, heat, sightseeing, photography, history and shops, getting a little lost, plus a few temples thrown in, dangling our feet in the cooling waters of river tavi, rescuing a pen, seeing some one slip in to the water, always being the last to come back because of being busy taking photos, misplacing the flowers I had taken from a cave temple for my mom, looking for them everywhere while checking out, the phone booth gentleman coming to help in searching for he thought they were special in a personal way, finding them in my pocket at last :P buying walnuts also with the good meaning advice about quality from the old friend. :D

Jammu Days- sports authority lodgings, meeting people from so many states, fights, performances, photo shoots and national champions, lunch and dinner queues , horrible tea and the absence of milk L ,  karate player that asks you worriedly what is wrong when you run around in a big building- on the deserted floors, apparently in so much hurry as if the devil himself is behind you, while what you are really doing is giving in to a whim to run while searching out your brother while half knowing he will be on the floors below, odd balls, people falling asleep on chairs before their fights, my own brother struggling to stay awake before his fight (the nerves make them sleepy :P ) , cheering ,screaming and booing is a lot more fun when you are doing it, the master flirt who tries to get to you through little brothers asking them recipes and numbers to get it when you don’t chat with them, stories of previous tournaments, the medal ceremony and celebrations with the team, leaving at night for Manali on the third night.

Jammu-Pathankot-111 Km – a night at the Pathankot bus stop, a surprisingly clean station, interesting experience that :D my first.

5 am bus to manali – 341 Km , reached at 5 in the evening, the bus ride included the transfer from the planes to the magnificent views of valleys and mountains, rivers and streams, dense forests, and at nearing the end, the amazing snow topped summits accompanied by the pleasant coolness – we had left the heat behind, the mountains awaited us.

Manali-1-discovering our hotel, a small nice place facing the river with a little temple and lots of red roses, first day trek to Jogini falls, going off the trail and getting stuck/making paths through bushes and brambles on steep wet land, which is of course more fun, cute furry dogs that become your guides, female dogs that distract them mid way, cool breezes accentuated in temper because of perspiration wet cloths, reaching the grand falls, rainbows , slowly but surely, getting down to it, and somehow making it behind the falls without breaking your neck, being ecstatic and totally washed out by the mist and water spray, being horribly cold but loving it, (icy water and breezes plus cotton shirts :P ) shouting at the top of your voice, following the normal trek back, learning how to make rushing water look like spun silk in the photos ( first time for me), beautiful flowers, hunger and the joy of it, getting back in town, honey butter cake, amazing flowers in people’s gardens which bore signboard saying “100 Rp fine for plucking flowers”, Vashisth temple with hot water springs, litcheess –utterly delicious, walking for Miles before reaching , a light lunch, a small trek through the campsite to Hidamba temple, watching the annual sacrifice ceremony’s start, dance and celebrations accompanied by sounds and drums that made children nervous, while dark clouds rolled in and lighting became a bit frightening, a walk back through high oak trees which are preserved around the temple, pitch dark , children clinging to my arms dreading a ghost attack any minute, a walk back to the hotel postponing the shopping expedition.

2- early start for rohtang pass, amazing scenery, wishing I could walk it all- the maximum pleasure in the Himalayas is usually on the way than at the destination, wild horses, beautiful sunrise, magical forests, mad traffic, traffic jam up there :P ,climbing to madhi on short cuts , (the last destination, the snow hadn’t melted enough for the road to open till Rohtang pass) ,writing names in snow walls, climbing and summit a Himalayan mountain top (not the whole of course) without ropes and with hiking shoes on ice, (at something around 3,400 ft), snow flowers, learning to climb/walk on snow without slipping much, sliding, meeting traders of fake Kasturi, -good people note- there were huge tire tubes midway on the ice, where they let you slid down on it for 50/- , I was just slowly walking my way down , absorbing the upper reaches which we had just descended , without any kind of annoyance in form of people, and thinking why would I want to go down there where there were masses, when the tube man asked me if I’d like to slid, I didn’t ,he insisted that I do, I still didn’t ,so he went- “ I won’t take your money and I insist that you go” “but I cannot go on it for free , really” –, “you are like my daughter , do come and sit – I am not taking you money, but I insist that you go and not wear yourself out”,

So, you know “err okay, thank you very much” what else could I say anyhow, the ride which lasted only a few seconds was pretty exhilarating, while I struggled to keep my top from being stuck between the edge and the snow, (it was an old one which my mom used to wear when she travelled to cold places) , while I did miss walking down, it was a new thing to do, and I did pay him half the sum, I gave it to his helper down town while he shouted no from up :P and we waved goodbye.  Yaks, overly priced food and coffee which did feel heavenly after the excursion, while I hate coffee usually, the walk back down, watching the winding road while dark threatening clouds advanced on the mountain tops, bringing with them the realization of the actual cold- which had been held at bay by the harsh sunlight up there. As exhausted children fell asleep, I watched each passing scene wide eyed, trying to memories it all, hold it in my heart till I visited the mountains again, the indescribably beautiful terrain, which is not explained or talked of, but only felt. It needs to be sniffed ,touched, heard, sensed and looked on-each small aspect dissected and felt with a mind and heart brimming over with thankfulness and love, a feeling of calm and peace invades, as ones looks on the mighty one’s beauties, it is a slight mesmerizing of the spirit, you feel so joyous, and it just stops short of making you want to cry, but cry you do not, because you’re more awed than that. it is that amazing.

The same day was fraught with considerable pleasure and excitement, like river crossing,

Video here- http://youtu.be/1m6BOtJaDSU

Shopping – dry fruits, gifts for friends, sampling interestingly hued woolen caps while conversing merrily with the shopkeeper, buying something for my brother- discussing politics with that shopkeeper, buying a breathtaking fabric for mom as her birthday gift, conversing with the shopkeeper and his helps along with helping other guys choose things for their beloved females, I actually liked that place so much that I just might order stuff from there, amazing designs and bearable prices. cherries and ice cream. And the most interesting shopping- looking in at every single jewelry shop that came en route. Of course we went everywhere on foot no matter how far it was, that is the only way to get to know a city. we miss out too much when we don’t walk. The tourist city offers some amazing collection as far as silver jewelry is concerned, though you have to know what you are looking at or it is easy to be fooled. I had all the time in the world, something I don’t usually have while shopping, it felt like a big luxury in itself. Pearls, cats eyes, turquoise, moon stone, jade, Zircon, Aventurine and many more, I love stones and I was having a lot of fun.

a few random ones of the many shots of the mountains.

  

3- the day of departure, saw me ,brother and another team senior dashing out early for the last minute fruit shopping for every one- peaches flowing with juice and some cherries that we finished on our walks to and fro to find the precious litchis , and finding only the last 500 grams in the whole town, which we simply divided between us, though this way we got to see the local vegetable market, gaining some knowledge in some local veggies, the early morning also saw me making my first really big purchase for myself that is,, I bought myself a piece of  jewelry, something for my birthday, as mom said on phone, so hurrah on that. I will probably be wearing it all day that day.

The bus took us-my heart crying out saying goodbyes to the mountain tops, and in the evening , the great Indian plains came in to view, the next morning saw us in Delhi, near the front gate of Delhi Akshardham, I travelled in the metro for the first time, we stayed at a temple rest quarters, and went to the Tibetan bazaar, which was just rows of small shops selling cloths for men, nothing amazing, but in the last corner shop in the basement I found a Tibetan red and turquoise string bracelet. I am a lover of big antique designs and stones. buying A gift for father and stopping the seniors from getting us all kicked out with some nasty Tibetan kicks on our backsides by pulling them out while they were engrossed in flirting with the cute shop girl there, she kept looking at me- I am not sure if she wanted help or if she was wondering what I was doing with the gang of hooligans from hell- while the boys were pretty oblivious to the rising annoyance of the Tibetan males around us.

Anyhow, the next evening saw us home. Relief , and pleasure.

I also went to the beach with my cousin and tried my hand at being a zombie, - http://youtu.be/aXNKQJYJ2U8

Took lots of photos –while being totally amazed by the unexpected beauty of that particular beach. Went to the farm for a day and came back the next.

Another 4 day trip to Abu, did some heavy trekking in those mountains, saw my first sloth bears and Indian Badgers (very rare to spot in the wild), 3 specimens of both the species, very much near to the kitchen of the place we’d stayed at. (sitting out late on the out cropping of a rock with the camera at the ready on the tripod, after a grueling day full of trekking), As well as swarms of birds, so many of them for the first time, watching them only by sitting still or lying under the big banyan tree-the beloved place of the birds- I haven’t even come around to posting their photos yet. I do not know if I will. Eating the jungle berries, making friends with the caretaker’s children. Getting stuck on a hanging boulder- I got there alright by jumping and bumping myself in the huge crack that divided it from the main rock body, but seeing no possibilities of getting back the same was, as the disconnected edge of the rock body was higher than the edge of the boulder, with the gap – it was not possible for me to go back the same way, it was interesting how I slithered under thorn bushes to get out of that situation. I was trying to connect my mobile to a stray wi fi some where there, by the way. That trip was beautifully pleasant and full of adventure.

Then came the last one, to Pune, Ahemadnagar,

Good things about it-

Getting to go somewhere yet again with my brother.

Lush green valleys and mountains cut by flowing streams and tiny waterfalls, watching them in the morning from the moving train. Lots of tunnels, cool and dark, lovely weather. Green- everywhere.

Seeing a brilliant dance performance and getting- as I think- some amazing shots. Some lovely flower shots

Time with the team, getting to know them more, (mostly with the 2 seniors though) making friends and talking till late joking (half dreading having to go to sleep)

Brother winning a medal.

One and only decent shop in that town, a pastry shop, to which we went to celebrate the victory, that being the only relief in the sequence of “without sugar” food of the place.
the football+basketball matches we played in the basketball ground to while away the time,which included a water bottle filled with sand,each team trying to kick it in their round area near the basket and than getting 3 goes at basket it with hands. we won :D

The dreadful things about it- awful food, more awful lodgings and big rats, big mosquitoes and big bed bugs, enough said.

Anyhow , it’s all over now, and as someone nice said- bad memories and experiences sometimes make for the most inspiring writings, I am going to keep this already funny seeming episode well remembered.  My vacation is going to be over soon too, next Monday I resume college, the temple door project is shaping up and I am going to buy the timber tomorrow if all goes as planned, the carving is finalized, the funds almost ready, I simply can’t wait for my first baby project to shape up!

That is all for now folks, good night from me sitting in a distant land where it hasn’t rained today. The wind is dead and we may expect a drizzle by morning.

I promise a better composed entry the next time. Thank you for reading, I’d fully understand if you don’t :D

the world and me.

so news of the day, Osama Bin Laden's dead,so far so good. call me traditional, but it is the other hypotheses and complaints about how something Important is not true which really annoy me.

actually, in the morning, the news of the day for me was that the golden shower tree(Cassia fistula) had been broken almost from the base, a victim of the neighbour's maid who had been searching for firewood the other day.a good shock to get early in the morning while i was out watering my newly planted stuff in the front wood bend. so of course, i had to corner her,and give her a lecture on not considering 5 foot tall "almost tree" plants as "twigs" (as she usually excuses her self by saying she's just collecting twigs off the big trees).i had been watering that plant from more than 5 years.it really isn't a laughing matter,i am happy that she wasn't around when i actually found out and had some time to cool off before the interview. sometimes trees feel like an extension of your self.i am not calling it "my" tree. it is harder to take care of the plants in the public wood.from cattle to firewood collectors to children who have nothing better to do but cut them, each one had to be warned off.

as for firewood,it is a necessary nuisance,to be honest. it is a good thing that most people collecting it are aware enough (and wary enough of the those who complain) to not to cut the tree itself, twigs are alright from time to time. i just wanted that girl to understand that if she would break the slender tree like that, how did she expect to get twigs in the future,for twigs one has to have a big tree. it wasn't only the one tree i mentioned, she had also broken another one which had been growing on it's own from quite a while.it is almost like seeing a dead person.

the heat here is quite sickening,mostly in the noon/afternoon time. though the winds are blowing hard and fast from today, the dry leaves go rolling around on roads,dust ,flowers ,leaves and twigs swirl in many mini tornadoes that are always around in the dry hot noon.those winds become the winds of inspiration in the cooler times of night and morning, making your hair fly about pleasantly, your skirts twirl around your ankles and you start humming something sweet and nostalgic. this is the feeling the ancients have also known,and i know it now. how wonderful that is? the connection we seem to have through out the centuries by the medium of feeling? love, hate,rage,greed- all the same. also these minute, indescribable,unnamed feelings which can only be felt - i am pretty sure- are much the same. in this wind, when i close my eyes, i can picture Tom Sawyer experiencing the same sense of elation and joy, of wonder and hope ,adventure and exhilaration,and something yet more subtle.(or make it the little Mark if you will insist on being particular:P)  it makes you want to jump,twirl and run, it makes you want to leave all your work and sit down,gazing at the trees , thinking nothing in particular, it makes you want to pick up your favourite book, it makes you want to be in love, all the good feelings in the world somehow unite to make a canvas of unsorted colours, unidentified, undefined, yet pretty and surely there. these are the times when i think of fairies and magic, roaming lions, flying girls, prince charming-s , big ball gowns and starry nights,songs well sung , birds that accompany, good detectives, love stories, freedom fights,handsome men :P,birds of paradise, unexplored lands and calming tunes,mountains great, seas that paint, blooming flowers in gardens, laughing children,sincere smiles, small good deeds, the olden times...oh this wind does make me go on.

to be VERY politically interested from poetically inclined.
and to bring about an abrupt change of subject.

-what is Pakistan about?Laden living right under their noses and they don't know it? 800 mts away from the national army institute, that sure is too much.they say they can not "allow" such operations within their borders,well right enough,but isn't it too late for their righteous indignation?if they don't want foreighn interference, they have to do something about the terrorists hiding there. they'd better stopped sulking and said sorry to the world.we KNOW what ISI is always up to, one would think that atleast the killing of their own citizens would wake them up,but no they continue to be double or more faceted, the government their is crappy,while i do not hold anything against the people.

-Osama is dead.the direct benefactor is Mr.Obama,not that i mind it,he atleast knows the right things to say most of the times.plus, he tries and is a rather good human being.after all, it is always easy to blame those who have all the power AND all the responsibility, what does it matter if he does get good public favour now?does it really matter? after all, he is better than Mr.Bush. that's just my personal opinion. every one's just human,and we expect too much,too soon.it isn't always possible,but of course, that doesn't mean we stop demanding or dreaming, it just means that we be more understanding, slow to blame and condemn.
(who thinks "SHE is saying that?" with an incredulous expression?) :D

 -US is being quite smug about this,not that i say it's wrong.i applaud the efforts and sacrifices, of all the soldiers from UN,US,UK,and many others, as well as the good forces of Afghanistan and all those people there.that beautiful country has suffered so much, i wish it would prosper soon. while my brother is pretty excited about WHO actually fired the shot that killed Osama. i am not that eager to know.

-USA had made many mistakes,and the world has paid dearly for it,monsters like Osama,Gaddafi etc were created during the cold war,just so that Russian powers could not have any hold in those countries, i never understood why those two countries had to be in a death race like that.

- there are many powerful people in the world,it is power that corrupts them,we all like to think that we are right,but with power to be wielded single handedly , this thing really gets to your head.we need people who are more capable of handling power.who do not get drunk with it. dictators turn bad, always because of this sense of power. and that is why democracies are always the safest bet.

-as i and the kids were saying just last week,"why bother with world domination,after all,what will you DO with the world anyway?(we failed to see any attraction in owning the whole of the world) you just get a lot of responsibilities,which you,being human, can not possibly see to,your hair turn white and you look old (IF you aren't already half dead getting the world in the first place) , you have to again divide the world and assign it to your underlings,and they revolt after all,as it is human nature to do so.what's the use of going to all that much of trouble" how come the supposedly "master minds" of Alexander the great,Napoleon Bonaparte and Hitler failed to see this?( i consider Hitler the foolishest really,so he doesn't count, hadn't half a chivalrous bone in his body)

-India,has always (literary) shouted at the top of her voice- that Pakistan is the home of terrorism,since the things started to go bad in our heavenly Kashmir valley.no one paid any attention, or even cared till they started to attack the western world.that is the thing about good and bad things, the world is round, it gets around to you.i know what the feeling is like, terrorists are called that aptly. it is pure, white hot terror, that seizes you when you find your self helplessly in their power, some one dear to you is somewhere in the city being bombed, in the train that blew or a tower that fell.you don't want to feel that. you'd be  glad for each terrorist dead.

-if nothing else,Osama's death is a symbolic boost to people's belief in the victory of good.i don't care if it doesn't signify anything else.i don't care if he was dead in 2007,this is the moral and emotional boots the world badly needed, the sense of something really happening in this war against terrorism. it IS relevant and necessary.

-i am still not sure why US had to go headlong in fight with Iran, the poor country is still in chaos.it is too bad when people start thinking chaos is normal.well of course i know the technical stuff, and don't need a lecture in history and faults.sometimes i feel that US doesn't have to poke it's nose around every where.but there are good and bad sides to everything. i wouldn't want them telling India what to do though.

-as for Nato dealing with Gaddafi- go AHEAD.my hope for Libya is that ,after when all this is finished,as it is bound to sooner or later,that you are not too broken, that NATO helps the Libyan citizens create a democracy, no more dictators, they always end up doing odd stuff, btw, any good dictator in history? not a king, dictator. will accept a lecture about that.

-it is always better that international organizations, and not one country, acts against a way ward nation.they HAVE the right. humans, sadly ,have to be kept more in check than beasts.

-why did the "nuclear hellstorm in Europe, if Laden hurt" threat came last week, if we are to suppose that he was killed back in 2007? now please don't tell me that news was pressed on the press by US ,or that Al queda is in league with USA.the hoaxers and doubters are sometimes so at odds.

-the world certainly needs to unite,for a brighter,calmer and peaceful future,so that we can concentrate on issues that have more power than the terrorists.natural calamities, energy,food and water problems etc. while we can not let these bad people go about bullying and harassing us.if we unite ,everything is possible, and now this statement doesn't only concern any one country. this is for the whole world to understand.

-we all need to do our part now,in the midst of fears of retaliation from the terrorists,our only real protection is our instincts,eyes and ears,if you find anything fishy, report it,don't ignore it! we saw a big bag on a bike just today in front of a bank,we called the security there,it's good that the owner of that bag came running there when he saw people were around his bike. meaning, do not worry about being wrong, it is quite worth it.only the people can really do something.

i actually had a lot more to say but i seem to have lots the edge somewhere up-there in the description of feelings.the things i was thinking before were really crisp.....the wind must have blown them away.

truly , the past was more subtle , not so much happening in the world you know, things have picked up pace now,since a few decades, things happen more, are more dreadful and deadly. in the eras of ignorance, i have to say it was less oftener then now that something bad and big happened.have we really evolved?

-so,Britain had it's royal wedding, US had today. and obviously, because of my love for big days, i had to write.

what's more,a music exam that went unexpectedly well,a week's visit from my favourite cousin sister,a delightful photoshoot,a shopping day in Ahmedabad and our raid on a second hand book shop,movies,music , laughter and fun. lots of love, plants and creative things. totally beats world domination. for the world is almost at your feet. :)

art cravings

i do not know when i will be drawing again, but, after a long long ,,,longgggg time, i sketched again today. the last 40 minutes have been fused with energy and the need to create something, gosh! i was browsing and than i just HAD to drop everything and get a paper and a pencil , now, nothing to get all excited about as far as the results are concerned, they are not all that brilliant, but for some one who hadn't sketched seriously in year, 2 in 40 minutes isn't something you can laugh about.

my, i feel exhausted, i  am yawning and almost ready to  fall asleep. what ever did adrenalin do? when i started drawing it was like each time when i had wanted to draw, but hadn't the time, had come together and i was drawing just like that, what ever came to mind and vision. so eh well... that happens right. 
usually i have such driven need to write, but hey , i love to sketch. so with no claims to high artistic skills, i shall share with you the result of the last 40 minutes efforts .

hmm, ok so the lips could use a better hand, but this is the best i could do with them. i like the eyes and nose, but after scanning i realised that i could have added more hair.. alas.

a piece of drift wood that i found in the great desert of Kutchh. this one is the better of the two i think, it does look a lot like the original piece lol so yeah that's that.. 
but the scanned ones don't look as good as the true paper ones.. duh


let's see what we can accomplish on the writing front today than. but right now, i am just going to read. William{by Richmal Crompton} , here i come.

random late night reveries

nothing definite,short stuff , simply going to be random.

- i have started to feel that facebook is a huge waste of time,but i feel pretty disappointed when there is nothing new on there from any of my friends. i usually try to stick to the number of 50 friends, any more than that, starts to make me uncomfortable, 50 is my safe zone, close family and friends, with a few others, and that's about all those i care to be connected to on every day bases, this being one reason for my being particularly flamboyant or silly/frivolous on there too. it's very personal, simply.

- i love shoes, more to the point, i love looking at shoes,  i like classy things, and even cloths are not so elegant as shoes, they first need a body to be in them really, shoes , are perfect. while i don't buy too many, and just broke 2 or my total 3 heels, still i am not sure i'll be buying many of those uncomfortable kind, they are just for those who don't need to walk.

- i love skirts, i barely have the figure for it.but i guess long ones that i prefer aren't all that bad on me.

- books make me go quite silly. i am sure i'd be uncontrollable more regarding books than shoes or cloths if i had all that money to spend.

- i love floral prints, i prefer dogs over cats as pets, and i don't prefer pink over red.my favourite colour for lips and nails is blood red.

- i love white cloths with tiny pale flowers, i love everything about the "Jane Auten era"
http://janeaustensworld.wordpress.com/

- i like big jewellery, i love aquamarine and hues of the ocean. i love olive green, to melt in with the forest. i love my hunter shoes, they are so macho :P

- Italy , is my dream destination,so is Paris ,Kenya,London,Ladakh , the whole of Himalayas and Romantic Venice.

- Bombex Ceiba ,just happens to be my favourite tree, because of it's flowers and it's scales.

- i do silly talk to animals, not that they reply back,well not in words at least.but i won't be caught dead talking like that with any human whom i didn't know well.

- i have a tendency to be childish during half the conversation my loved ones would have with me during the day, i fancy i am still being my 6 year old self at those times.well, duh, they love it and so do i. i am also as stern and disciplining as an army office (my brother's words!)

- sometimes i indulge in dry humour during any commonplace conversation. new eh? the remark is sometimes so unexpected and sharp that it takes time for people to understand that they were to laugh.

- Karma,i think, is to scare your actions in to submission. i believe in doing good,, for the sake of doing good, and not for any selfish reason, like reserving a place in heaven for one's self after death. so don't argue with me with the aid of Karma, won't be getting you anywhere, i believe in doing something good,everyday, i love the feeling after having helped someone, or having made someone smile. not that it is not selfish pleasure.

- i hate hypocrites.

- i have more friends abroad than i have in India, not counting my cousins, they are family,and very close too. i hope to meet every one more than only ones in my life though. it would be such a great pity if i didn't , i love them all and they all are so great.

- i like my photos being taken, period!

- i sometimes wonder how people have the leisure to go in to soul wrenching depression, but as i've been in it ones, i suppose it's not all that hard either, i am a little hard hearted, even in that time i thought i'll manage till the earth doesn't stop revolving on it's axis. this is so NOT pointed at anyone. what more amazes me is how people can find the time and the patience to read all those "positive thinking" books, it's all repetitive junk and we should be able to motivate our selves.

- after having said the above like a little rainbow, i will contradict my self and say that at times, dying doesn't seem like a very bad idea at all.

- i don't seem to make men feel protective towards me, may be i am not that sort of a girl i suppose.while i do seem to attract a lot of debate and opinions.

- i forget my brilliant lines/songs/poems by the time i reach the pen and paper, as i usually get them while walking outside :P

- i seem to have a big writer's block.

- i am determined to be a writer.

- my idea of a perfectly romantic morning would be, under a huge tree, resting my head on someone's lap, reading my favourite book, and occasionally looking at the leaves rustling above, their thick foliage filtered through by the dazzling sun rays. all in the Austen costumes, you understand ;)

- i need a "new everything" for my birthday, i celebrate getting one year older, one year wiser,and having spent a year on this beautiful planet.

- the only person i really really resent is our chief minister. because he resents anything that doesn't give him money,trees,farm land,forests, the list goes on.

- this year's wish list for my birthday is not yet fully determined, but books are there, i don't have the last two parts of "His Dark Materials" so it can't go wrong.any fantasy book can't go wrong really. like the "Septimus Heap series". i like gifts that make sense, don't give me hearts that say mushy stuff,jewellery and cloths can always be used hough. and so can money.not chocolates, i don't eat those much. give me plants instead, i like them and they grow. don't buy cards for me, if you must give it, than make them or draw something. the card industry is a disaster. but some are really very pretty, and i collect them :P use your discretion , i seem to be totally gone case tonight.

- i can't help but love second hand books.

- i am in love with Sherlock Holmes, Vincent Van Gogh and the "shadow king" in the "city of the dreaming books". really. and of course Mr. Darcy.......for a look from those eyes.

-  i wanted to be an artist,a scientist, a researcher and adventurer, a historian, a singer, a spy, and a singer as a child. huh..i am studying architecture and music, i hope to travel, but i am not a spy. 

- i am conceited, but humble enough to know it. 

-  some may think that there is nothing that i resent in my life,nothing that hurts me every day,nothing that is more a physical pain, that i am a too self absorbed to be sad. i am just aware of the fact that, those little sorrows are a part of those things that make life worth living, i live with those. 

- if i ever wrote to you "love" as an end of email/note address, i totally mean it. i do not use that word lightly. it means that i trust you, respect you, and,despite all our deferences, consider you a very close friend, i can not give you anything more than that, because that is the strongest bond,the biggest gift.nothing else from me can surpass that.  


-Romantic love is,i don't know what it is. so won't be talking about it.


- i enjoy giving gifts,i choose/make each very carefully, may be those might not be what the other person would have liked sometimes.

- it takes a lot to sicken me, i rarely, if ever, have nervous break downs. if there are any, they'd be emotional rather than anything from the outside. i am good at the time of problems,i seem to adopt a philosophical attitude towards them. i don't scare easy, i fight for my loved ones, and no one bullies me :P

 - well the last is not true,some people bully me, but not appear to be bullying so i get bullied :P and i am scared of the dark sometimes.

- snakes scare me more than lions, but i have had to kill a snake, so.. not that i relish that thought. the poor dear thing.

- i procrastinate in writing.

- i love to cook/design cloths but not sew them my self/design good spaces.

- i love thread work on cloth, little beads work and i wish i had more time to make those.

-  i am running out of space to store the books.

- my knee is in pain, i know, wrong construction by the standards of English Language, who said i was talking in English language? i went for a long jogging run with my brother, very long , mind you, and that is something stupid to do with a hurt knee joint, that's all  my hidden "maleness" at work i suppose :P how silly. i am also excited about the next month himalayan trip, i want to be fit for it.it is going to be pain walking from tomorrow, for a while. that is, if i do go anywhere tomorrow, ahhh....

- i am feeling rather lonely, and want to talk with some one, but chatting has always seemed rather a hollow form of communication to me.

- i have no aim, to write this blog entry, other than, i suppose, to sort out a few things in my head about my self.

- i do hope no one is offended by anything that i might have said on here. it is really all about me and not about anything else. 

- i am a study in contradictions, i know that. but still i'd like to talk of it with you, but in writing, always in writing, for , oh , it is so achingly romantic and real :)

I,Me and Mine.

blogging is all about being self centred, people like me who took on writing online after starting out on personal diaries must feel that they are so very "full of them selves" but i guess, that's what it is for, to make your friends read about you whether that wish it or not :P he he

well jokes aside, i have been at the hight of things lately, more to the point,stubborn and disciplined in a way.been giving every one a piece of my mind,so to speak. people around me usually say that i am sweet (i am talking about real people around me, friends) but they also know that i have a foul temper when provoked.i can't be silenced if i think that the other person is making an ass of himself, or being a hypocrite. i hate those.sometimes i think overly sentimental stuff foolish and i have no love of soft mushy stuff. though my parents always say i am so over the top romantic,so that i am not sure what side of me you might encounter when ever you happen to do so, depends very much on the circumstances. the only word that i am sure about being "me" is being very much opinionated.

had an almost volatile argument with the priest this morning. we usually do not bother each other, i rarely ever visit the temple,i do not believe that God is confined to the temple. he/she/it is every where, in the grass blades, in the trees, in the wind that plays with my hair, in the sun ,moon and stars, inside me and you, and of course in a Temple :) so well, i don't see him often. i mean the portly old man with crooked brown/yellow teeth and a white beard who serves as the priest here.

an old gentleman has planted many native plans and trees in a rectangular patch of land, in front of the temple.it's been almost 3 years since he started working on it,and not a long time from the time when it was the emerald jewel of the temple grounds.thick foliage canopied over the smaller flowering plants and fruit trees.he had put two big bird baths there,a small shade made of logs firmly hammered in the earth and covered with leaves, for every one who wished to sit there in their spare time. as well as a packed earth sitting area. he is quite old more than 85 i am sure,he's been a good friend to me, gave me saplings and even fruits and flowers.while we funded his effort to put a protective boundary of thorn bushes and Henna plants around the plantation afterwards.he sometimes comes over on his bicycle for chats when he is feeling better (well he is old). it's been good,he'd go there every morning around 6 or even sometimes at 5 when the water pressure in the municipality line was low to water the plants.he does work a lot,it is a labour of love, he simply loves the plants, and at his age, it is really something. he has always told me that trees belong to every one,they give food,calm and shelter to every one,they are the true messengers of God.he firmly believe that it is more worth while to do gardening than to attend the temple pooja time.at least he is giving something back to the community. And this,from a person who we call illiterate,in our modern terms,agreed that he doesn't know how to read or write,but he seems to have achieved the highest spiritual and philosophical degree. he knowns what life is really about. i like him all the better for that.

(i wish more old people were interested in doing something good rather than be absorbed in their own woes, all the time complaining to every one and God too i am sure, about how hard life has been to them,how the new generation shows no affection and how the world is doomed because their son/daughter in law forgot their birthday, like COME ON- they seem to have the advantage of lots of free time after they retire right, no job to keep them from doing what they always wished to do,well may be not bungee jumping,but like there are hundreds of more productive and creative pursuits-most elders around here seem to think that the burden of refining and progressing of the community depends only on the youth,like, come on, we have jobs,unsorted love lives,dreams and the wish to give something back to the world of course, to make each day full. so stop calling us lazy and bonkers. i am not saying that it is pardonable to slight the elderly though, they have a wealth of experiences and wisdom, i just wish that they used it them selves too.)

anyhow, the problem was the priest's jealousy of my old friend's popularity and flourishing garden. every one greeted him every morning and partook of the advantages of the trees.he hated how every one said he was doing great work,how beautiful the garden was.etc the priest planted two rows of decorative palms along the short path leading to the temple and cut and diverted the waterline from the old gentleman's patch of green.under the pretence of needing the water for the palms. i noticed the dry, dreary state of the smaller plants in the patch on my morning walk with mom, the bigger trees were fine but the herbs,flowering plants and shrubs were all yellowing under the strong summer sun.my first horrible thought was that my friend had passed away, i hadn't seen him in about 15 days because of my work routine.well, he is old, but may he live many more healthy years. he is fine, as i made a dash for it early this morning, but very much grieved to see his beloved plants dying slowly,the bird baths are empty and the soil very much dry. i and mom went to talk things over with the priest, and he started shouting like an oaf that he is,"who are you to come here telling me what to do", "you have no right to speak" , outrageous-  well you don't say those words in India, you just don't mess with the world's largest democracy. it is enough to make me go flying over the rage threshold. while the puny details of the heated exchange is not what should concern us, i must , for the sake of a belated laugh mention that i told him to not to shout on me,i was not his wife, i bloody well will speak as i lived in India and not Afghanistan and that he had no right to divert public water lines, and kill birds and plants too.  he should not think that, as we were women, we'll not take harsher actions than a simple request. that seemed to remind him that,after all, Indian Jurisdiction was not partial to male superiority and his supposed holy man status. (holy man my foot) he than went on to explain that we were very much mistaken,that the little scoundrel had a grudge on him since forever, the water was available when ever he wanted but he just didn't come when the water came in the morning. it was not his fault that the local society president had decided to put in palms and keep watering them,when i told him that the amount of water he was giving the palms will probably kill them in about a week. he went in to a fit of rage and  some pretty nasty curses came out of that foul mouth for that old gent,whilst my dramatically inclined mouth hung open for a few moments after hearing some words that I never tolerate being even whispered around me.what a nasty person, there he was,firing away, standing inside the temple, the holiest place as far as Hindus are concerned ,and he was a hindu last time i checked. (it is similar to a reverend bellowing curses on the pulpit really). ugghh... 


there is no use talking to a person without shame or manners, he deserved no reply other than the ultimatum that we were bringing the society committee president with us the next day.yes, so that's the course of action, we'll also be submitting a written note, rudeness has no place in a civil society. our little "talk" was witnessed by many and supported too. so water it WILL be for the plants. nothing less.


i hate people that stare, i do not mean the appreciative looks,cast at me at regular, respectful intervals when they think that i am not looking,i would look at a person if they looked good, i would look at a puppy if it looked good. that's not the point.the stares that i am referring to are the ones that make you feel naked,the eyes are obscene, they seem to devour you like hungry wolves ,and those are the stares that i am talking about. they do not seem to notice that you are a person,they see only a body, and those stares make me angry, incidentally, those stares  usually come from the most coward men. so,when you confront them asking what the hell is he looking at, they run away like little scared rabbits,only that they aren't cute. you do get the urge to go after and get your hands on them,you feel the stinging slap on your palm which you'd like to bestow, but most of the time, when my temper is in check and i am in a hurry to work or college, i  pretend not to notice or hear the things going on between the male onlookers. ladies, usually do not make a nuisance out of them selves for handsome men though. 


saw a video yesterday,http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_uRIMUBnvw&feature=share 

 while i do not say that majority of men are not tolerably good. i commuted to work for 3 months and was asked twice for my phone number, the first incidence is well know, but the second one, on the last day of work, was more subtler and less outrageous. the ticket clerk at BRTS who gave me my bus ticket every morning , with a cheerful good morning, was dismayed when i told him it was the last day and i will not be coming afterwards. leaving the counter he walked to the bus with me, much to my unease, i had really thought that he was just being friendly when  i replied his greeting. i suppose there is not much spread of the concept of "friendship only" between a woman and a man. he asked if I'd come to see him, (of course,if something took me along the path of this bus service again) , and then he said there were some things that he must tell me, (oh no, not that now ) and asked for my number, while i saw no need to give him that. i wasn't interested, period. giving it would only raise his unfounded hopes. but his face, oh that saddened face stayed with me the whole day, i felt like a heartless wretch, and resolved to not bestow my smiles on any one from now on, being mistaken as a cold specimen is better than being taken as a wilful heart breaker. i derive no pleasure from the suffering of my fallow men, suffering of any kind, and abhor being made the cause of it. 

well, a chat with mom cheered me up, well, as a woman of the world, she knows more than i do. she was like "my dear girl, it is not your fault that they expect more from you than you are willing to give, it is theirs." and "appearing cold never harmed any one" so i am going to keep my nose in the air, unless they are being particularly charming, they won't be noticed. there :P i'll just become Mr Darcy, the female one.


summer is here, i've started putting out water and food for birds since February, just a friendly reminder. 


i am about to finish Ruskin Bond's "a face in the dark and other Hauntings" it is more absurdly pleasant than scary. watched "Julie and Julia" i liked it . my office is over, and i need to justify declining to work in the vacation when my nice boss asked me to stay on.working was an educational and amazing experience.  i mean to be working hard in the coming days. on creative things in general. wish me luck.



my brother's exams start this 7th, my dear little cousin is coming on a fleeting visit this evening and i am excited about that. i have to get the grains out to make flour , and i will probably be somewhere in the Himalayas next 15th.... and adventure camp and national tai kwon do championship - my brother's team, they are taking me with them :D and i get to take the camera with me too. (i flatly refuse going any where breathtaking without it, it would torture me to death,well not really) i hope i can do all the rock climbing and river crossing stuff as well as photography, i have no fears as far as tough hiking /climbing goes though. i just hope that my knee will be healed by then.  

spring here is perfectly delightful and lovely 

but with it comes the neem Juice , a glass every morning for 9 days. it is the most bitterest thing in the world, may be... but good for you. so i go for it . .. ughh
that's all folks, i would really love your feedback, either on here, or in privet, love hearing from you.


will talk again soon
lots of love